


Tomorrow

by cloudwatch



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 14:52:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6809872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudwatch/pseuds/cloudwatch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leo sometimes forgot how he felt on those days where he'd wake up and wish he hadn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> so i haven't been doing well these past few days. sometimes, even when i'm taking my medication, i just get stuck on a downward spiral and i have a hard time getting back up. sometimes putting characters into my situation helps in a way, so that's what i did here. i can just write out how i'm feeling at the moment and often it's relieving.

Leo sometimes forgot how he felt on those days where he'd wake up and wish he hadn't.

 

He didn't have them as often as he used to, but back before when he'd had them more often he'd also had other reasons to get out of bed, other motivations that forced him to move: he had to keep Elise safe, he had to go to a meeting on time or he'd face his father's wrath, he had to stay on top of his education and training so he didn't fall too behind Xander. Now, with peace between the two nations stable and Xander not having a need for him for the next few days and Leo having been sent off to relax in the warmer weather in Hoshido, Leo remembered what it felt like to be awake when all he felt like doing was sleeping.

 

He knew that deep down he didn't really want to just stay asleep, as there were many things that he was pleased to see daily, but at the moment he couldn't even find the energy to recite them in his mind. He sat outside underneath the shade of the tree, with the sun shining down on him and one of his favorite books in his hands and he couldn't find the motivation within himself to that his skin was possibly burning or that he was receiving a weird look from Takumi.

 

Hoshido was always beautiful, especially around this time of the year, but Leo found it hard to appreciate that beauty when being underneath the sun just made him feel even more tired. _Tired, tired, tired tired tired_ , he was _tired_ of being tired, felt like he was walking around like he did on mornings where he got very little sleep, but he couldn't wake himself up enough to do anything about it. He'd been _happy_ to go to Hoshido, to see Takumi after having not seen him for a few months. Leo wanted to enjoy the time he got to spend with him, but trying to take hold of those feelings he'd had before was like trying to grab air. He felt bad, because he was sure that Takumi knew something was wrong, but he didn't have the words to describe how he was feeling.

 

It took a moment or two for him to even register that Takumi was saying his name. "Oh," he said, closing his book. He could try faking that he was okay, he was good at that. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

 

He should have known that Takumi wouldn't buy his pretending, he never had and never will. Takumi was frowning at him, his hand hovering just over Leo's shoulder as though he didn't know if it was okay to touch him. "I was just asking if you were okay. You've been really quiet since you've arrived here, even more quiet than usual, and you don't look happy at all. What's wrong? Are you feeling okay?"

 

For one moment, Leo opened his mouth to give his normal response, that yes, he was fine, just tired (always tired, so _tired_ ), but there was something in the way that Takumi was looking at him that made him pause. He opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again and said, "I don't know."

 

Takumi shifted on the spot and Leo knew that he was holding back from just grabbing him and holding him tight. He was waiting for the okay from Leo. "Okay, okay, is there anything that I can do to fix it?"

 

Leo shook his head. "No, not really, I..." and he could feel the tears burning behind his eyes, trying to hold them back but it was all just too much, _too much_. "I think I... I think that I need to cry." He bit his lip and looked down at the book in his hands. "I feel like I need to cry but I don't know _why_."

 

Takumi was hovering at his side, waiting. "Leo, what can I do to help?"

 

Leo tried to give him a smile. "This is such a stupid question," he said, ignoring Takumi's quickly whispered 'it's not stupid, it's _never_ stupid,' as he waited for Leo to finish his question. "Can I get a hug?"

 

Takumi wrapping his arms around Leo's back and pulling him to his chest didn't get rid of the constant tired feeling he had, nor did it stop the tears from falling, but as he sobbed into Takumi's chest, he did feel a little better knowing that someone else was there, that there was someone else to lean on, if just for a moment. Like he'd told Takumi, he didn't know why he needed to cry, but he was thankful that Takumi didn't ask further. Instead, he tried to focus on the gentle kisses that Takumi was pressing to his head, the little circles that his fingers were tracing into his neck and back, tried to focus on something else other than how tired he felt.

 

There was a kiss pressed to his cheek, Takumi's warm breath drifting over his cheek. "You know I love you, right?"

 

At that Leo let out a genuine little laugh. "Yes, I do know that, I do. I love you too."

 

"Was there something that set this off? Something that was said to you or anything that you heard?"

 

Takumi's hands were still tracing symbols on his skin and Leo closed his eyes to focus on the motions, trying to see them in his mind. "No. I just..."

 

"You just woke up feeling like this, I understand."

 

And that was one thing that Leo was so grateful for, that Takumi did understand. Leo reached up with a hand to wipe the tears away from his eyes, sniffing when Takumi's arms tightened around him. "Can you do me a favor?"

 

"Hmm?"

 

Leo let his eyes settle on the tree to his right, watching the leaves rock in the wind. "Can you talk for a while? Tell me something, anything really. I just need to not think for a bit."

 

"Sure, of course," Takumi pressed another kiss to the top of his head. "Have I ever told you about the time when I was young and I fell into the koi pond and thought I was going to get eaten by the fish?"

 

Takumi had, in fact, told him this story many times, but Leo shook his head and asked him to tell it. He allowed Takumi's voice to relax him, his hands still tracing on his skin and Leo took a deep, calming breath. He'd be okay, he'd done this before. He may not be okay right now but tomorrow, tomorrow would be better.

 

Tomorrow, he'd wake up and he'd make his mental list of what made him happy. He'd read his favorite book, take a walk with Takumi through the town, maybe even help out in the castle garden. Tomorrow, he'd practice his Hoshidan with Takumi's help, and tomorrow he'd take the needed time to breathe.

 

_Yes_ , he thought, listening to Takumi's voice and his chest feeling just a little bit lighter. _Tomorrow will be better_.

**Author's Note:**

> i am feeling better today than i was yesterday, and right now that's all that matters. just taking it a day at a time, really. if you read this, thank you, and i hope that you have a good day!


End file.
